I’m going on this crazy, vision quest camping holiday on Dartmoor with a couple of friends in June, and I needed a tent and a sleeping bag. Not being much au fait with this stuff I asked me mate who is, it resulted in the following conversation …

Me – I propose getting the following … wottchafink?

Gelert Quickpitch Elite Pop Up Tent – Grey

Weight – 1.45Kgs
Material – 190T
PU Waterproof Coating
Water pressure resistant to 2000m
2 x 6mm Fibre glass Poles
Built in High Visability x guide lines
1 x carry bag measuring 76×67 x 3.5cm

Friend – Looks good – am amazed by the tent! Water resistant to 2000m? If I ever take up deep sea camping….!

Me – I thought we could try it out at Meldon Pool, that’s supposed to be quite deep LOL. Will go do order.

Friend – Between your deep submersible tent and mine made from spinnaker material, we have the makings of a wind-powered submarine!

Me – And … I just saw a “Ladies” sleeping bag … what’s special about Ladies? Do Gents bags have a bottle attached ??? The Ladies one also has an anti-bite zip … dhhhhhhhhhh ??? !!!

Friend – Ladies’ bags are cut slightly wider in the bust and hip area, usually, and can be a bit shorter. Presumably men’s bags are larger elsewhere, possibly groin to allow for ego. I do like the anti-bite zip, though!! Dracula beware!

Me – ROFLMAO !!!

Should you hear no more from me after Midsummer you’ll know I’ve gone underwater pony-trecking in a wind-powered submarine …